I'm Too Busy

I'm too busy. I have way too much stuff going on. I have a job that requires long hours. I am planning a wedding. I just cannot do it all.

This is how I started letting myself think. I have been pretty busy lately and just started thinking, maybe I just do not have time to write blog posts, or work out or go on romantic dates.

How ridiculous are these thoughts? Everyone is busy. We all have a lot going on. I am 23. I have the least amount of responsibility that I am going to have until I am retired. Think about it. The least amount of responsibility for decades.

I need to take advantage of this time. I am starting to realize that if you do not have the time now you will not have the time later.

We never truly realize how well we have it until after the fact. Wait until you have a kid. Or two kids. And a job with longs hours. And t-ball. And...well you get the picture.

It may seem like you are too busy to go and conquer a goal or do something you really want. There is time, you just have to make it.

Here are a few ways to make enough time for the things you love:

• Stop spending so much time doing things you do not care about. We all do it. Sometimes it is easy to waste a whole evening watching bad TV shows or surfing through pictures of people you do not even know on facebook.

• Sleep a little less. This one is hard for me. I love sleeping. I love getting 8 (or more) hours of sleep. I am starting to realize that it is not necessary. Get up early in the morning and stay up. Make some time for yourself.

• Learn to say no. This is important. You are not obligated to do something just because someone asks. (Unless its your soon-to-be-wife.)

• Do things that are important to you. It is easy to get wrapped up in our daily routines and forget about the things that are important to us. Think about the things that are important to you and make sure you are spending enough time doing them.

• Get to it.

Photo: Michel Filion

Deciding to Dream

When I was five I wanted to be a football player. I was almost certain that it was going to happen. The reason: because I loved it. I loved playing it, watching it and thinking about it.

Most children have similar dreams and aspirations. There is nothing they cannot do. It is inspiring to see a child believe they can do whatever they set their mind to. They do not care about probabilities or difficulties; if they want something they will go for it.

I love this idea, but in the back of my mind I cannot help but think: how realistic does a dream have to be to chase it?

What does realistic mean?

One of the hardest parts in deciding whether to chase something you really want is deciding is it realistic? Is it worth it? These are good questions to ask.

If you are a single mother raising four kids, then moving to Hollywood to chase your acting dream is risking a lot. Becoming a famous actress would be great, but you have four kids depending on you. To a certain extent this internal cost-benefit calculation is important to ensure you are not risking too much for too little.

But what is realistic is different for each person. We define what is realistic. Sometimes putting all your effort into accomplishing a goal with a small shot of succeeding is worth it because you love what you are fighting for. If you want it more than others you will probably out work them. If you out work everyone else you will probably succeed. Several other factors come into play, but these are the biggest.

If you want something bad enough, who I am to tell you that you cannot do it? Who is anyone else to tell you that you cannot do something? Everyday I am amazed at the things people accomplish. The mother of four could have all the talent and drive in the world and only needs to be discovered.

All of this taken into consideration, we can learn something by being more like children. While sometimes our childish fantasies fade, as we get older new dreams emerge. Dreams of being a better person or having a better job. Dreams of a better life. Do not be afraid to be like a child and follow your heart.

I have a dream...now what?

It is one thing to dream, it is an entirely different thing to turn these dreams into reality.

Big dreams require big drive. Reaching goals and dreams requires you to want it. To overcome people telling you that you are not good enough. To overcome the countless difficulties you will encounter along the way.

The only thing worse than chasing your goals and failing is deciding not to even try. Not deciding to chase your dreams is a decision. It is one big decision yielded from countless small decisions of inaction culminating in a life of accepting what you have been given. A decision to be like everyone else.

Why settle for average? Why be happy with just getting by? When do you actually go for it? There rarely is a defining moment that will tell you to just go for it. You have to create it.

Failure/Success

The hardest part about chasing these dreams is failure. Failure is scary. No one likes to fail. But chasing your dream and failing is better than living a life filled with regrets. Though you may not reach the ultimate goal, the things you gain from chasing it and the experiences you go through are truly invaluable. And when you do set out for a dream and succeed...well there truly is nothing like it.

Photo: Hamed Masoumi

Overcoming Obstacles

Everyone has moments in life where it seems like everything is going wrong. You cannot catch a break. Instead of worrying about reaching your goals you have to worry about if you can find a new job or if your relationship will work or how to get over the death of a loved one.

We do not live in a bubble. Outside stressors affect how we feel and influence our ability to reach our goals. When times get tough my attention usually is focused on staying afloat rather than self improvement.

Here are a few tips for balancing personal problems and remaining focused on your priorities:

• Deal with the problem(s). Some problems do not go away easily and require our attention before they are resolved. Focus your attention on either fixing the problem (if possible), understanding why it happened (if possible) and then accepting it. Once you get yourself back on track you can attend to your goals full-steam.
  

• Modify you goals based on new circumstances. Sometimes when big things come up in our lives we have to modify what we want to accomplish. Review your goals and make sure they are still in line with your current situation.

• Stay positive. Sometimes this can be very difficult to do. Think of the good things in your life, do not get too down. This does not mean ignore your problems (see first bullet).
  

• Understand your motivations. Know why you are trying to accomplish something. If a goal has little meaning for you, you probably will not accomplish it when times get tough.
  

• Make time for goals. Many people are so busy that they rarely make time for themselves. This can be especially true during times of turmoil. Even if it is for only 30 minutes a day, make time for yourself and your goals.

• Create habits. Creating routines where you slowly work toward your priorities is an easy way to stay on task. My next post will be covering this is the topic more in depth.

Just because obstacles come up does not mean you have to stop reaching for your goals. There are 100 different ways to reach one goal. When you cannot reach something the way you originally thought try another way. If that doesn't work, try another way. It is easy to make excuses when things come up, but there is always a way forward.

Photo: Mykl Roventine

10 Things That Inspire Me

To improve anything you need inspiration. It can come from anywhere and can inspire you in all different ways. Some things drive me to work harder, some to have better relationships and some to be a better person.

Here are ten of my biggest inspirations:

1. Seeing results/achieving goals. I love getting better and improving. The best way for me to see results is to keep track of my performance.

2. Competition. I am a very competitive person. It drives me.

3. Lakes and oceans. There is nothing like gazing out at Lake Michigan on a hot summer day, feeling the cool breeze against your face. This is less about productivity and more about just staying in the moment.

4. Being the underdog. Throughout college I worked harder than almost everyone else because I believed everyone else was smarter.

5. Little old couples. I cannot help but smile when I see little old couples going for a walk and holdings hands. Relationships are not easy and take a lot of work; seeing people who have overcome difficulties and are still in love is truly inspiring.

6. Selfless people. Individuals who give so much and ask for little in return push me to be a more selfless person.

7. Overachievers. Ambition is contagious.

8.Failure. It is not the fear of failing, but remembering my past failures that inspires me.

9. Family and Friends. Making the ones you love proud is a big motivation.

10. Being lazy. Every once in a while you just have to relax and not worry about anything.

Inspiration can really be found almost anywhere, you just have to look for it.

Photo: Kevin Dooley