The Difference Between Surviving and Thriving

I was taught growing up to survive.  By this I mean I was shown the skills needed to get by and make it in the world.  Very valuable skills of which I am very thankful to have.  They've allowed me to support myself, put a roof over my head and ensure that I do not go hungry.

I cannot help but appreciate this mindset.  There is something utterly simplistic with being happy to survive.

And yet, I remain hungry for more.  I do not want to just get by or just survive.  I want to dominate, I want to be the best, I want to thrive.

The difference between these mindsets are relatively straightforward.  Surviving is doing what is necessary to live.  Thriving is not being satisfied just surviving, but reaching above this to make continual progress.

A thriving mindset is defined by continually challenging oneself.  To be a better person.  To be a better spouse, parent, child and friend, being more understanding, more supportive or just being there more.  Challenging yourself to have a better career, being more fulfilled, being more rewarded or just being happier.  Challenging yourself individually to constantly question who you are and whether this is in line with who you want to be.

The important corollary is that seeking to dominate in every aspect of your life will require trade-offs.  Do you stay late at work to finish the big project (career) or leave to catch your son's soccer game (family)? A thriving mindset requires priorities.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to continually improve aspects of your life, it is just important to be aware of what is most important to you.

I think everyone has the potential in them to be better.  Wanting to do so is the first step, doing the little things necessary to get there is what thriving is all about.

Photo: aussiegall

What Better Time Than Now?

At this moment you are the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be.

You have the most knowledge, experience and wisdom than you have had at any moment in your life.

You have the most youthful energy, optimism and drive than you will ever have.

It is the perfect time to use this combination of experience and energy to do something great.

It doesn't have to be a huge, complicated task. If you want to lose weight, go for a jog. If you love writing, start a blog. If you don't know what you want to do, think about it.

The hardest part to doing anything is just getting starting.

There will never be a better time than now.

Photo: John Morgan

Embrace Your Laziness to be More Productive

There is a ton of advice out there on ways to improve your life. There are times when it is easy to soak up this information and dream of improvement. Other times its hard to even get off the couch, much less practice for a marathon or meditate or learn a new language.

For me there is a certain natural ebb and flow to my productivity. In the mornings I have all the drive in the world (at least after I have my first cup of coffee). Come 3 pm on a work week and I almost always hit a wall and just want to go home. The same thing usually happens during the seasons. Spring through fall it is generally easy to be productive, but come winter I just want to hibernate.

It is important to remember that everyone feels lazy at certain times. It is ok. This does not mean that you cannot improve or reach your goals.

Learning how to deal with the laziness and still find time to work towards your goals is really the key.

Here are my keys for dealing with fluctuating ambition levels:

• Embrace your laziness. Take advantage of some down time. Enjoy not doing anything. Do not feel guilty. Restore your mind and body. This step is crucial to avoid burnout.

• Be productive when you have ambition. Use your natural energy cycles to your benefit. Understand when you usually are productive and take advantage of the time. If you are not a morning person, work hard in the evening when you have the energy. When you know you are not going to have the energy or ambition, pushing yourself into something you do not want to do often leads to failure.

• The key is balance. If you combine the first two tips I gave, you might be thinking, "Nice, I can just not work when I don't want to and I'll reach my goals!" Its not that easy (good things in life never are). Inactivity for 95 % of the day will lead you no where. Embracing the fact that you will get lazy is a good idea. But connected to this is the idea that when you are not lazy you get things done. You make a choice of action. Work towards your goals. Use the ambition that you have inside, the dreams of a better life and work hard to get the things you want.

And when you accomplish a big goal or reach a milestone, go grab a cold one with some friends or just curl up on the couch and be lazy.

Photo: Claudio Matsuoka

Ambition

“Everyone feels some ambition, but few have ambitions on a vast scale.”
Tocqueville

Three years ago I ran across this quote by Tocqueville while reading for a political philosophy class. It struck a chord with me at the time so I scrawled it on a piece of paper and put it in my wallet. To this day I still have it and run across it every few months when I de-George Costanza my wallet.

Having ambition is one thing, having enough to consistently act on it is another. Why not push yourself? Why not have ambitions on a vast scale? Most good things in life were done by people who thought big. If you fail, you fail. You will get over it and have that experience to push you. My failures drive me to succeed.

I am no expert in self-improvement but my one key to success is to work harder than everyone else. Realize that you are not the only person with with motivations and aspirations and work harder, longer and smarter then everyone to achieve your goals.