New Year, New Resolutions

As the crystal ball drops we descend into a new year, a new decade. A clean slate full of new opportunities.

The new year will be filled with countless resolutions, goals and promises.

While just another day, January 1st, 2010 presents a great opportunity for self improvement. Because wanting to improve is the most important step to actually improving. (In reality, any day you choose to make a conscious decision to improve is a great opportunity. This hyper-self-help sentence is super corny and yet super true.)

Going into the new year with a little preparation can make a big difference in terms of sticking with your resolutions.

A few tips for your 2010 goals

• Choose something you really want do to. This is the most important tip. You won't stick to something you don't care about.
  

• Tell someone about it or write it down. This will keep you inspired and increase accountability.

• Make the resolution doable. 
  

• Set measurable benchmarks. "I want to get in shape," is a terrible resolution. What does this even mean? When will you be in shape? Where is the motivation? A better alternative: "I will work out for 10 minutes five times a week." This will keep you motivated and will allow you to track your progress.
  

• Limit yourself. Do not spread yourself too thin. The more goals you set the less likely you will be to do them. Shoot for the one or two things you truly want.

Inching towards your goals and slowly building positive habits is a great way to make your resolutions a reality.

Cheers.

Photo: Jsome1

What is Your Goal in Life?

I never really thought about what my main goal in life was until I was 17. I lived life because that is what I had always done. I tried to do well in school because I liked doing well. I had a job because I needed money. I did things to do them.

It amazes me that I floated in life for so long without really thinking about why I did anything, beyond surface reasons.

When I was first asked the "goal in life" question by my then-girlfriend, now fiancee, I did not know what to say. I thought about it for a minute and said my goal in life was to be successful. "Quick thinking," I thought to myself with a smile.

I asked her the same question. She said her goal was to be happy.

The moment she answered I knew her answer was better then mine. (She is a very smart woman.)

Having a big, overarching goal is not necessary as evidenced by my initial 17 years of existence. But it is helpful. It's helpful in those moments when you are searching for reasons to get up in the morning or deciding what type of career you should choose. It's helpful when contemplating philosophical questions like,why am I here?

Happiness in context

Currently I am reading The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by The Dalai Lama. The main idea of the book is very clear: "the purpose of our life is happiness." The idea is discussed in the context of how it can be helpful on a day-to-day basis. Flipping through the book, here is a section from a page I dogeared:

"The purpose of our life is happiness. That simple statement can be used as a powerful tool in helping us navigate through life's daily problems. From that perspective, our task becomes one of discarding the things that lead to suffering and accumulating the things that lead to happiness. The method, the daily practice, involves gradually increasing our awareness and understanding of what truly leads to happiness and what doesn't.

When life becomes too complicated and and we feel overwhelmed, it's often useful to stand back and remind ourselves of our overall purpose, our overall goal. When faced with a feeling of stagnation and confusion, it may be helpful to take an hour, an afternoon, or even several days to simply reflect on what it is that will truly bring us happiness, and then restart our priorities on the basis of that. This can put our life back in proper context, allow a fresh perspective, and enable us to see which direction to take."

The advice is simple.  Become aware of what leads to your happiness and what leads to suffering.  Do what makes you happy and don't do what makes you suffer. Obviously, in our real lives it is not this simple.  Little is black and white and sometimes its necessary to face the things that make us suffer before they will go away.

Whether you decide that your purpose in life is to be happy or if it's something else, the above advice can be helpful. Taking a moment to step back to ensure that our actions and decisions are in line with our ultimate goal is crucial. Because it is the accumulation of our decisions that ultimately determine who we are and who we become. 

Photo: rajkumar1220

Slow and Steady...

My initial foray into self improvement was fun. My ambition was so high that I felt I could truly do anything. I brainstormed all the things that I wanted to improve and set out improving. After a great 3 or 4 months I hit a plateau; I was getting stretched too thin and was not happy. What came next, I believe, happens to many who set out to improve and hit some difficulty. I shut down. I stopped working out, getting up early, reading thought provoking books, everything. I went from feeling like I could conquer the world to feeling like I couldn't get out of bed. The more I think about it now the more I am reminded of the many people who excitedly set New Year resolutions only to forget about them two weeks down the road. 

Where it went wrong

I got too ambitious and confident in what I thought I could do that I did not limit the goals I set to achieve to things I really, truly wanted. I had so much on my plate that I did not have time to comfortably focus on the one or two things I really wanted to do. Additionally, I probably should have limited my pace in the beginning. I sprinted the first 5 miles of a marathon, only to come up winded a fourth of the way through. (Maybe the tortoise was really right...)

What I am doing about it

Instead of dwelling too much on my failures I know that I have to focus on the present and the things I can do now. Focus on what I want to accomplish and how I want to do it. Rather than the rigid, utilitarian approach I previously took, I am only going to set out to improve things I truly care about and make me happy. Over the next few days I will be thinking about where I am currently and where I want to be.

Photo: cliff1066 
  

Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for having a loving family, a wonderful fiancee and great friends.  I am thankful for having a warm apartment to call home, with food in the cupboards. I am thankful for having the opportunity to think and write about my ideas and passions.

*Happy Thanksgiving*

Weathering the Storm

I have been blogging a lot less frequently.  The reason is that I have not felt like writing about self improvement.  I have not felt like actively doing anything in a while.  It is hard to strive for improvement when you feel like you are just getting by day to day.

Life can wear you down when you let it.  And sometimes it feels like you don't really have a choice in the matter.  Pretty much everything that this blog has revolved around is that we all have a choice in who we want to be and what type of life we want to lead.  In theory this is a great idea and I truly do believe it.  But I also recognize that in practice we don't always have the time or energy for our normal lives.  In these difficult times improving and choosing to be better is an afterthought.

How you handle the difficult times can define who you are.  Sometimes weathering the storm is just the best option.

Photo: Kr. B  

Auto-Simplify Your Life

I never miss an episode of The Office. The reason? Because it’s an awesome show. Another reason is that my DVR is set to record the show automatically every Thursday at 8.

Automation is a good thing when it comes ensuring you catch your TV shows. It can also be a good tool for improving and simplifying your life in other ways.

Automating aspects of your life allows you to be lazy. I don’t know about you but I like being lazy, or at least I like having the option of being able to be lazy.

Here are a few ways to automate your life:

• Set up Google Reader to automatically pull articles from your favorite blogs.

• Automatically invest or save a portion of your paycheck. Take the money right off the top. It doesn’t have to be a lot. You will get used to not having that money. It will pay off in the end and cause you a lot less stress.
  

• DVR your favorite shows. My recommendations: The Office, 30 Rock, Top Chef. Watch them without commercials and spend the extra time doing something worthwhile.
  

•  Set up your coffeemaker before you go to bed. Spend 30 seconds setting it up so you do not have to stumble around in the morning. Wake up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee.  This is also helpful in not spending a lot of money at Starbucks.
  

• Autopay your bills. It is pretty easy and straightforward to set up autopay on most bills.  I set up my bills to pay right before they are due. This is my way of sticking it to the big banks and credit card companies. (Take that Bank of America!) No late fees. No hassle.
  

•  Pack yourself a nice, healthy lunch for work. When you are at work and hungry you’ll eat anything, including a healthy lunch. If you are not a morning person pack it the night before.
  

These things all sound nice but the biggest hurdle to any of them is doing work now while reaping the benefits later. In our world of instant gratification investing time and energy now without immediately getting something back is rare. But it can be worth it, saving you time, energy and stress down the road. And best of all it can ensure you do not miss Michael Scott and the gang.

Photo: Toronto Rob

Fall-ing Out of Habits

I am not sure if it's the cold weather, shorter days or increased football, but once fall hits it is much harder for me to get anything done.  My work out goals have been sputtering.  My law school applications are still not out.  The frequency of my blog posts has been weak.

Overcoming these type of difficulties is just a part of the game.  I am making myself finish my personal statements for law school this weekend.  I also need to reassess the habits I am trying to build.

If fall is this hard, winter will be harder.

Just because things are not going well today does not mean they cannot be better tomorrow.


Photo: Per Ola Wiberg